During these past few weeks, I’ve grown quite attached to my journal and it now goes with me everywhere. It’s like having a little creative companion to inspire me throughout my day. I look over and hear my co-conspirator asking me, “Hmmm, what mischief shall we get into today?”
After surviving a shower with my journal, I ventured into taking it for a swim with me last week. This was quite a leap considering I seriously contemplated putting my journal into a ziplock bag before bringing it into the shower!
I swam a little on my own first, scoping out the pool. Being the good rule-follower that I am, I even found myself glancing over to the pool rules sign to make sure there wasn’t any wording about bringing strange, foreign objects into the pool! I felt self conscious as I brought the book into the water with me, concerned about what others might think.
But in the end, I just took a deep breath and plunged right in, journal in hand. It was quite exhilarating! Then we lounged together poolside and worked on our tan.
Here’s a quick video of me checking out the damage ;).
My journal was sopping wet, so my husband suggested wrecking it further with a hairdryer. I’m amazed at the volumizing effect even without a diffuser or mousse!
Here’s my journal at the beginning of my Intuitive Painting class with Chris Zydel.
And here’s my journal after a good, messy session of painting. What fun!!
Through all this play and destruction, I’m learning some helpful lessons from creative wreckage that apply to my life in general:
Thinking, anticipating, fretting, and plotting about something that stretches me is usually a lot scarier than actually just doing it.
By stretching myself, I discover new edges that challenge me and empower me to grow.
I feel even more invested in my creative endeavors after I’ve taken a risk (whether it turned out the way I wanted it to or not).
I’m capable of way more than I think I am.
What life lessons are you learning from your creative wreckage? I’d love to hear.
For week 3 of the Next Chapter‘s Wreck This Journal adventure I played with getting a little more messy. I dabbled in food stains, dragging the journal and other fun stuff.
My partner in crime, Emmett, helped me drag the journal down the street in the video below.
We didn’t get very far before the string snapped, but the cover certainly got scuffed up. I think it ended up for the best that the journal detached from his leash. I didn’t think through the positioning and he ended up peeing on the string which was really gross.
I warmed up to the food mess by putting a few stains on my stain page. Who knew that blueberry soy yogurt has such adhesive properties? The pages were glued together after the yogurt dried.
While savoring a tasty raw food meal from Cafe Gratitude, I figured I’d commemorate the delicious lunch in my journal (even though it says to document your dinner – so rebellious! Haha!). I smeared on some raw pasta puttanesca zucchini noodles and fake meatballs and garnished with a sprig of watercress from the side salad.
I took my journal with me to intuitive painting class. Instead of using a paper towel to dab my brushes, I had fun using my test page. I will continue to use this page for my paintbrushes for the rest of the book club.
My leftover paints made a colorful palatte for my handprints!
And finally after this week’s mess, I cleaned off my journal in the shower! Haha. Really, I had been avoiding this because I hate water-logged pages. Oh well!!
I love Jamie’s vlog post about attachment this week. Great insights, Jamie.
This morning I did a video shoot for BlogHer’s The Juice. The fabulous BlogHer co-founder Jory Des Jardin interviewed me about creativity and writer’s block.
If you haven’t seen these weekly video clips, check them out. They’re quite informative. From fitness tips to healthy meals to work/life balance, it’s about “more of what you want, less of what you don’t!” My clip will be up at the end of August.
The crew was super friendly and I had a blast! I also loved that they had a professional make-up artist on-site and we did a quick photo shoot in the garage afterward. Yes, this Leo felt like a star, at least for a little bit :).
As I mentioned in my Juicy Pens and Thirsy Paper post last year, I don’t write in my books. I don’t dog ear. If I do for some odd reason need to markup a book, I’ll do it very lightly… in pencil. It goes without saying that Wreck This Journal poses a challenge for me! Author and artist Keri Smith urges us to roll up our sleeves and get messy with challenges like take the book in the shower with you (are you kidding me?!) or cut through several layers of the book (yikes!) or lick the page (gross). Hmm, I may need to ease myself in with more innocuous activities like writing on the grocery list page or tracing my hand.
I did give myself a head start by buying a used version. It’s still blank inside, but it’s already a little run down and it’s got a black remainder mark on the edge. I needed to have it broken in rather than cracking open a pristine copy. Perhaps that’s cheating a bit, but it’s what worked for me! 😉 I even loved how the envelope it came in has seen better days.
Given that during the 12 Secrets Next Chapter adventure, I shared that I could use more fire in my life, I chose to kick off wrecking my journal by doing the “burn this page” page. Here’s a video of my first attempt.
After I got the hang of it and wasn’t worried that the whole book would go up in flame, I got bolder and played around more with the burnt edges. I actually like the effect.
I’m looking forward to meeting other Next Chapter wreckers this summer and playing together! Here’s to wrecking!
During the past few of weeks at Chris Zydel’s intuitive painting classes, I’ve discovered two more important lessons in my creative process:
A lot can be produced in just 10 minutes
All you need to get started is 70%
A couple of weeks ago, as class was winding down, I found myself checking out and feeling done with my painting for the day (even though there clearly was room for more!).
Chris came over and asked, “What’s next? What are three things that could show up in this painting now?”
I pondered, “Maybe a cloud or a dragon’s head or a bird? ”
“Which one has the most juice for you?” Chris inquired.
I responded, “The dragon’s head, I guess.”
“Great, so that’s what’s next!”
“But there’s only 10 more minutes of class,” I proclaimed (or should I say whined!), thinking I wouldn’t have time to finish something new.
“That’s okay, just see what you can do,” Chris encouraged.
I grabbed a brush, dabbed some red paint and went to work. Lo and behold within less than five minutes I had finished the dragon’s head and included fire coming out of its mouth! Who knew I could get so much accomplished in such a short amount of time? What a good reminder, if I just spend even 10 minutes on something – a creative project, writing, planning – that I could actually get more done than I thought. And I have a great place to start from the next time I can pick back up again.
The next week, I showed up to class late, tired and a bit discombobulated. I had forgotten my wallet at home and had to turn back. By the time I finally got to the studio, I realized I had left my iPhone in the car and had to walk back to get it. I was already eating away at my painting time and was getting mad at myself.
I sighed as I started to gather my brushes and paints and said to Chris that I was feeling like I wasn’t fully present yet. I was only about 70% there. And of course the wise and loving Chris said, “Hey, that’s good enough!” I sat down and got to painting. Before I knew it, I was sucked in. Images and color poured on to the paper one after the other. I don’t even know when the shift happened, but I went from 70% barely there to 100% in the creative flow.
Often times when I’m not feeling totally in a creative mood or I’m slightly distracted, I’ll think that I’m not in the space to create. So, I don’t. I don’t write. I don’t paint. I don’t do yoga. I don’t work on a project that I need to. Because I’m waiting to already be engaged at 100% in order to get started. What I took away from class last week was that it’s okay (and even enjoyable and quite productive) to ease into it. To begin from where I’m at, 70%, 50% or merely 10% and go from there. Momentum will build and if it doesn’t that’s okay, too. At least I got started!
I’m really appreciating all of the lessons that are emerging through this creative process and I look forward to discovering more gems in class this week.
One of my intuitive painting rituals is to take a snapshot of my paint palette. Each session, my color choices differ depending on my mood or what simply strikes my fancy while perusing the rainbow of tempera bottles. The intuitive process begins even before paint ever touches paper. It starts by selecting colors and brushes. What size brush is your hand drawn to? What paint is crying out, “Pick me! Pick me!” Do you listen? Or do you ignore these creative urges? What a great reminder that it’s about the process, not the product!
How do you allow your intuition to guide you in selecting the tools, materials and resources for creating what you’re up to in your life?
I’m letting my intuition guide me by choosing this very important creative resource… starting in August, I’ll be participating in Chris Zydel’s Expressive Arts Teacher Training Program. If you’re a coach, therapist, artist or creative soul who wants to use expressive arts to facilitate powerful change, then definitely check out this training. It’s an intensive year-long experiential course where we’ll learn how to incorporate Expressive Arts approaches such as intuitive painting, movement, etc. into deep group process work. Chris will also be sharing the nuts and bolts of how to open a studio, run the business side of things and more!
While I’ve learned a ton about leading groups through CTI’s leadership program and I feel pretty good about my business know-how, I know there is always so much more knowledge to soak up and embody. What I love about this program is I’m going to get to blend together many of my loves – personal growth, creativity, expressive arts, leadership, coaching and group work. For a few years now, I’ve been searching for an Expressive Arts program but none of them seemed to fit what I was looking for. Many seemed too clinical or therapy-based or too academic. None of them cried out “Pick me! Pick me!” That is, until I met Chris. Her warm heart and wise spirit invited me to play! I’m really looking forward to continuing my personal and professional development in this way and I’m excited to see what will unfold from this experience.
What creative resource is calling your name today? What would happen if you followed that creative urge?
Since February, I’ve been attending Chris Zydel’s Intuitive Painting class at her cozy Oakland studio. What a gift to have stumbled upon Chris via twitter and to have this opportunity to explore my creative self in new ways. I’ve always loved painting. What’s great about playing with this approach, though, is that I’m accessing different parts of my intuition and allowing the images to just unfold – even if they don’t make sense or if I think they’re crazy and hideous!
It’s about the process not the product.
I’m finding that the intuitive painting is enhancing my creative process in general. In fact, the other day my book coach said she noticed that I’m getting more comfortable with sending her really bad and incomplete first drafts. Since I’m typically a perfectionist, this has been great progress! The crappy first drafts are valuable fodder which eventually evolves into something that works and feels good.
I felt compelled to share some of the pieces I’ve created recently, even though it feels vulnerable to do so. In class, we refrain from making any comments to others about their paintings. This helps to create a safe space where anything can show up on paper without fear of criticism (or even praise – or not getting praise). There’s definitely an edge for me in putting all this out there AND I know there is value in sharing my own process. So, here it goes…
The painting above started off looking and feeling like roadkill. I just happily slapped on layers and layers of red paint. Then some figures started to emerge…
And then over the course of two classes it morphed into this bizarre image. When I was stuck at one point, Chris asked me what are three possible things that could happen next, perhaps a new color or image. I said something in the top left corner. I really dislike purple, so that’s what I decided to go with – where there was the most resistance. At the end, I signed the painting and pinned it up next to me to dry. When I looked over, though, I saw some faint eyes staring back at me in the purple mess in the corner, so I had to go back and fill in glowing eyes in more detail to truly complete this wild painting.
Even though my judging mind thinks this image is quite ugly and disturbing, I found the painting process very satisfying. And that’s what it’s about! As Chris tweeted to me later on, “You’ve just discovered one of the secrets of the intuitive painting process. Making bad art can feel SO GOOD.”
This was painting I did last month. It was such a surprise to see what unfolded here as I let my brush just allow images to take shape. Beauty is a value of mine, so it is quite uncomfortable and strange for me to give myself permission for things to be ugly and weird. However, besides aesthetics, to me, there is the beauty of emotion and the inner world. So, in that respect the intuitive painting aligns deeply with my values of beauty, creativity and self-expression. It’s amazing to me how the painting really just paints itself.
The painting above started off with swirling circles that then formed what I thought was going to be a sun or a planet, but then surprisingly turned into a giant cross-eyed snail. Who knew? I had been feeling very tired and sluggish, so I guess it was befitting. It wasn’t complete until I added the red glitter glue which went on all slimy just like a snail trail! Very visceral and fun!
And then there’s my new favorite technique… what Chris called the the “use up your paints” painting. I was fascinated just watching the paint globs drip down the page until they dried.
These are great resources if you’re wanting to dabble in some intuitive panting on your own. But of course the best way to learn about the painting process is to just pick up a brush and let your Inner Muse guide you. Enjoy!
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of attending Kimberly Wilson’s Hip Tranquil Chick Retreat in New York. Two-plus days full of creativity, yoga, journaling, meditation and lots of other yummy activities – who could ask for more? Oh yeah, and some retail therapy (Kimberly brought pieces from her spring line of TranquiliT eco-clothing) so, of course, I had to pick up a few things!
I took Kimberly’s Yoga and Creativity workshop in San Francisco last year, so I enjoyed getting a whole weekend to bask in the hip and tranquil lifestyle!
There was a dreamy library brimming with books written by women. I loved how there were lots of cozy corners in the farmhouse. My intention for the weekend was self-care, so I went to bed early and slept in late and took every opportunity to nourish myself.
On Saturday night we made vision boards while watching Sex and the City. It was lots of fun! On the floor in the front, there’s Mary Knebel founder of Self Help Goddess, a website that brings together the best of self-help resources.
Kimberly invited me to lead a section of the retreat. I guided the group through a visualization to meet their Inner Muse and we broke out the crayons, markers and glitter glue to create Inner Muse portraits. What a treat to see the creativity flowing and to hear some of the personal discoveries. Thanks, Kimberly for an amazing opportunity!!
Lesley Williams from the Creative Cookie and I paired up to discuss how we can improve aspects of our “Wheel of Life.” It was great to share ideas for living a healthy life!
Kimberly had us do our vision boards on folders. What a brilliant idea! My vision board focused on finishing my book and book proposal with ease and flow. So many ideas bubbled up for me during this retreat and I’m excited to start working on them. Also, participating in this retreat and getting to lead a couple of hours helped underscore for me my goal of leading retreats for women in the future.
Me with Kimberly Wilson and Sharon Burton
I had a blast getting to chat with Kimberly throughout the weekend. And I was thrilled to finally meet my blogging buddy Sharon Burton in person! We’ve been connecting on Twitter, Facebook and our blogs for some time and Sharon’s also taking my Right-Brain Business Plan Teleclass, so it was really cool to hang out with her!
And here are all the magnificent ladies! I met such cool, amazing and inspiring women and I’m really excited about what they’re up to!
If you’re wanting to go on retreat either away or for a few hours at home, check out Jennifer Louden’s The Women’s Retreat Book which offers some great suggestions for designing your own personal getaway. I highly recommend going on retreat at least once a year to clear your head and to relish in relaxation and rejuvenation.
(Note: last five photos are from Kimberly Wilson and Sharon Burton).
The final chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women focuses on goal setting and action steps. After three months of exploring the creative process with Jamie Ridler’s Next Chapter book blogging group, it’s important to also have a plan for making it all real. Right now, my big goal is to have my book proposal completed by the end of May (which is now next month – yikes!). I’ve been working with my book coach for quite some time and I feel like I’m starting to make some significant progress. YAY!
I like to see my goals on one-sheet of paper and the anal part of me likes to check things off once I complete them! So, I created a Quarterly Goals Sheet template that I fill out and post on my bulletin board above my desk. It’s a great way for me to track how I’m doing against my vision. For some tasks, I will also fill out a more detailed Action Plan template so that I can get really clear on the specific steps, resources needed and (since I’m a pressure-prompted worker) timing.
When I’m overwhelmed with a really big project, I often times will just put up tasks on post-it notes and organize the plan from there. I love how visual and free-form this method is. Other times, I’ll just write a letter to myself from the future to inspire me to take the steps needed to make my goal manifest. For other creative planning ideas, check out my Wishstudio Blogzine Musepreneur column on some right-brain approaches to business planning.
I’ve enjoyed re-reading the 12 Secrets in community with other women. This process of exploring and sharing has helped to deepen my understanding and practices of the 12 secrets in new, exciting ways. I’ve absolutely loved meeting so many inspiring, creative women through the Next Chapter book blogging group! And I look forward to the next book selection which Jamie announced on today’s celebration call. If you missed it, you can listen to the call here.
Also, on the celebration call, Jamie announced the launch of “Your Creative Spark: Inspiring Interviews with 12 Highly Creative Bloggers” (I’m one of the interviewees!). I just downloaded my copy and am loving all the juicy creative goodness! Click here for more details on Your Creative Spark.
This week’s chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is definitely my growing edge. Secret #8 is about selecting empowering partnerships and alliances. This, to me, is quite different from tapping into the support and wisdom of my guides. I love connecting and collaborating with others. That inspires me and feeds my soul. What I find scary is diving into an actual business partnership where we are truly co-creating something together, sharing profits, etc. Even if it’s with someone I align with, lots of stuff gets triggered in me like the need to “protect” myself and my “intellectual property.” Feelings of scarcity and comparison can start to surface. I get that it’s all fear-based because it’s outside of my comfort zone and when there’s money involved that probably just eggs on my saboteurs even more!
I’m also independent, individualistic, introverted and, given that I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, I have a strong need to be unique and different and often feel like no one else understands me. All of which can be challenges in a partnership!
One of the most empowering partnerships I’ve experienced, though, was with my friend Brighid during the two years that we co-led a leadership retreat together. That’s us in the photo above on a high-ropes course. This particular physical activity tends to reveal dynamics at play in a partnership. The key to getting all the way to the other side is for each partner to lean in 100%. I’m in the black and white and you might be able to tell that I’m witholding just a bit, which is a typical pattern for me. What really helped us enrich our partnership overall was lots of open communication, checking out our assumptions early on before they snowballed into drama and knowing we could trust each other to each bring our natural gifts. The other key was having a shared passion and focus for what we were creating.
While partnerships can take a lot of work, I also know that there is tremendous learning and growth for me and my business when I stretch outside my comfort zone and partner with the right people. And while it can be more vulnerable, it can also be quite fun and fulfilling!
If you’re considering entering into a partnership or alliance with others, it’s really helpful to have a good sense of who you are – your strengths, your idiosyncrasies, your expectations and what you bring to the table. Gail McMeekin has a pretty in-depth self-assessment in this chapter to help you define your collaboration profile.
Also, here are some resources that I’ve found useful in creating more effective partnerships:
The MBTI is a helpful tool for understanding personal preferences and can provide lots of insight into team dynamics. What Type am I is a good introductory book.
The Enneagram is another insightful personality typing system. A fantastic book that talks about how the different Enneagram types partner together is Are You My Type? Am I Yours? And here is an online resource for Enneagram compatibility.
