Category: Books

Secret #8: Empowering Partnerships and Alliances

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This week’s chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is definitely my growing edge. Secret #8 is about selecting empowering partnerships and alliances.  This, to me, is quite different from tapping into the support and wisdom of my guides.  I love connecting and collaborating with others.  That inspires me and feeds my soul.  What I find scary is diving into an actual business partnership where we are truly co-creating something together, sharing profits, etc. Even if it’s with someone I align with, lots of stuff gets triggered in me like the need to “protect” myself and my “intellectual property.” Feelings of scarcity and comparison can start to surface.  I get that it’s all fear-based because it’s outside of my comfort zone and when there’s money involved that probably just eggs on my saboteurs even more!

I’m also independent, individualistic, introverted and, given that I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, I have a strong need to be unique and different and often feel like no one else understands me.  All of which can be challenges in a partnership!

One of the most empowering partnerships I’ve experienced, though, was with my friend Brighid during the two years that we co-led a leadership retreat together.  That’s us in the photo above on a high-ropes course.  This particular physical activity tends to reveal dynamics at play in a partnership.  The key to getting all the way to the other side is for each partner to lean in 100%.   I’m in the black and white and you might be able to tell that I’m witholding just a bit, which is a typical pattern for me.  What really helped us enrich our partnership overall was lots of open communication, checking out our assumptions early on before they snowballed into drama and knowing we could trust each other to each bring our natural gifts.  The other key was having a shared passion and focus for what we were creating.

While partnerships can take a lot of work, I also know that there is tremendous learning and growth for me and my business when I stretch outside my comfort zone and partner with the right people. And while it can be more vulnerable, it can also be quite fun and fulfilling!

If you’re considering entering into a partnership or alliance with others, it’s really helpful to have a good sense of who you are – your strengths, your idiosyncrasies, your expectations and what you bring to the table.  Gail McMeekin has a pretty in-depth self-assessment in this chapter to help you define your collaboration profile.

Also, here are some resources that I’ve found useful in creating more effective partnerships:

Secret #7: Consulting With Guides

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Week 7’s Secret from the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin is consulting with guides.  In our creative process, we are not alone.  We have creative cohorts who inspire and support us.  These may be people that influenced us when we were younger, like family members or teachers.  They could be current people in your life, like friends, partners, coaches and mentors.  Or they could be people you don’t even know but admire from afar.

I’ve been fortunate to have so many supportive people in my life.  From my high school speech coach who encouraged me to “be big,” to my creative blogging circle of friends who I’ve been connecting with every other week.

I created a visual map to pay homage to my guides – past, present and future.  There are so many people who inspire me that I didn’t finish including all the names, groups, books and experiences that have been important in my life to date.  I look forward to continuing to add on to this piece and summoning the wisdom of this circle of support.

How do you acknowledge and tap into the insights and inspiration of your guides?

And the Vision Board Book Winner is…

Congratulations to the delightful Erica Cooper of the Celebrate Home Everyday blog. Erica is the winner of the book “The Vision Board: The Secret to an Extraordinary Life” by Joyce Schwarz. Yay! Erica, I wish all the best for you as you vision big!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the giveaway. I was absolutely blown away by all of your incredibly inspiring responses to the question, “What do you love about you?” Your vulnerability, humor and authenticity warmed my heart and I hope inspired others to love more of themselves, too. If you didn’t save or print out your comment yet, I invite you to do so. And add on to it every now and then. That way you can continue with your fabulous self-love fest throughout the year!

Secret #5: Committing to Self-Focus

We’re on week 5 of the Next Chapter book club and Gail McMeekin’s fifth secret in The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is committing to self-focus.

Fridays are my self-care days.  I don’t have any meetings.  I don’t do any phone calls.  I have time just for me.

There was a Friday a few weeks ago, when I broke my promise to myself – big time!  My calendar kept getting shuffled around, the rest of the week was pretty packed, so I ended up scheduling back-to-back meetings from 9:30am-5pm.  I rationalized to myself that this was okay.  In fact, the first thing I had put on my calendar a couple months before was a meeting with a professional organizer, Claire Tompkins.  Having focused time to clear the clutter in my office was definitely my idea of a self-care act.

What didn’t help was that I started to fill in every nook and cranny before and after that meeting.  A call to plan an event for a community that I really love.  A visit from a dear friend.  And then a marathon trip to the bookkeeper.  Granted, all the things (besides the bookkeeper, of course), were things that I enjoy and are important to me.  However, I became so oblivious to my self-care day that I even neglected to build in time for me to eat!  Oops.

Later on when Claire checked-in with me for feedback on the organizing session, she also mentioned that I didn’t seem like my normal, positive self.  What she was picking up on, but I didn’t acknowledge until later was that part of me was resentful that I didn’t protect my self-care day. Instead of basking in the rested, inspired and spacious feeling of a normal Friday, I was overwhelmed, rushed and stressed (oh yeah, and very hungry!).

Having time alone is crucial for my mental health and my creative process. I’m usually pretty good about carving out those boundaries.  When I was younger, I remember my mom telling me it was okay to say no to things if I needed to take care of me or something that was important to me.  I appreciate that she did that.

Today on my self-care day I slept in, I’m going to the bookstore later on and I might even allow myself to read some fiction ;)!

How do you commit to self-focus?  What things do you do to practice self-care?

Vision Board Book Valentine’s Giveaway

This Valentine’s Day I’m raffling off a copy of “The Vision Board: The Secret to an Extraordinary Life” by Joyce Schwarz. This inspirational read features vision boards from more than 100 artists, including me!

In the book, Joyce shares her visioning method called GRABS, which stands for:

  • Gratitude
  • Release and Receive
  • Acknowledge and Ask
  • Be and Believe
  • Share

An important way to show gratitude, the first step in her process, is to start with appreciation for yourself.  Since Valentine’s Day is coming up, it’s a great time to practice self-love.  So, I’d love to hear… What do you love about you?

Here’s how the giveaway works:

  • Leave a comment below with your answer to the question “What do you love about you?”
  • All submissions must be entered by 11:59pm PST on Saturday, February 14th, 2009.
  • The winner will be randomly drawn from all submissions and announced on this blog by Monday, February 16th, 2009.

The Vision Board book also has a whole chapter about Relationships including how to vision finding love, strengthening your existing partnership and connecting with your family.  I’m looking forward to sharing this resource with you!  Good luck!

P.S. – Speaking about visions, I recently did a podcast on how to make your big visions real on the Big Vision Podcast with Britt Bravo.  Please, take a listen.

Secret #4: Surrendering to Creative Cycles

I’m writing this post in my PJs from bed while the afternoon sun is shining outside. I guess I could call this a mini-down cycle!  Gail McMeekin’s fourth secret of Highly Creative Women is about surrendering to creative cycles and dealing with the void.  In coaching we call this the dip.  It’s that time when you may be feeling stuck, slowed down, discouraged, vulnerable, sensitive, or perhaps not feeling anything at all because you’ve numbed out.  It’s the low point, the darkness, the spaces in-between, the pause, the quiet.

For me, sometimes these dips can be really bleak and blue, especially when I let the inner critic run the show.  “Um, hello, get off you’re butt, you should be doing more!!!”  “Look at what everybody else is creating, you’re getting behind!”  “You’ll never be that creative or successful again.”

Other times, these dips are much needed respites after intensely creative and hectic periods.  That’s when I just allow myself to rest.  To spend a week not doing much of anything except reading, vegging out and indulging in self-care.  Typically, I’ll be very busy and productive for a month or two straight (with travel, lots of events and projects, etc.) and then the following month will be much more spacious and mellow.  In fact, I’m heading into a more calm month now after a whirlwind past two weeks.  Many times, my body will just tell me to stop and take a break (in fact, I hurt my back in yoga yesterday, so it’s another reason why I’m telling myself to just take it easy).

So, I am enjoying my quiet time this afternoon.  I treated myself to a massage this past Friday and I am looking forward to white space on my calendar.  I know that this break will give me the renewed energy and spark to continue on my creative path.

AEDM Day 19: Book Sell Sheet Part II

So, I kept the commitment that I made in yesterday’s post to spend the afternoon today doing work related to the book.  I printed out drafts, organized my book binder and did some writing.  I also did the second side of the future book sell sheet.  I based it on the format of the other examples my book coach provided me but added a creative touch.

Feels good to have made more progress on my project.  And as luck would have it, our guest speaker at the SF Coaches meeting talked about the process she went through writing her book.  She had a friend call her each morning to hold her accountable!  She also shared how she helped her clients finish their books and other creative projects by simply taking small steps.  It could be just writing one paragraph each day and then slowly working up to a page per day.  Or spending 15 minutes a day painting.  Before you know it, you’ll be farther along that you every thought you could be!  I like that approach.

AEDM Day 18: Book Sell Sheet Part I

We just had our Ladies Who Launch Oakland member meeting tonight.  I invited bestselling author and publishing expert Jennifer Basye Sander to give us insider tips on how to get published.  Writing and publishing seem to be in the air.  On Thursday, I’ll be participating in a call “Ask the Author: Writing/Coaching” through the Creative Artists community that I co-lead on the Co-Active Network.  Plus, several of my clients happen to be working on books and I’m slowly plugging away at my own book.

A couple of months ago my book coach suggested that I do a visionboard-esque sell sheet for my book to help inspire me.  She sent me a few examples of traditional sell sheets and encouraged me to make one with my own creative flair.  So, that’s what I took on for my art for today.  I’m also working on the back side that has more details like bio, media and marketing highlights and testimonials.  Last year, I made a fake book jacket and that manifested in being featured in two books this year.  So, I’m hoping that by creating this visual reminder for myself, I’ll be more focused on my writing and finishing the rest of the draft.

I enjoy writing when I allow myself to jump in and be in the flow.  It’s just a matter of making that time and energy commitment.  As I reflect on passing the AEDM half-way point, I notice that I habitually save the art for the end of the day.  No wonder why, under normal day-to-day circumstances, art-making falls by the way side.  Same with the writing.  It doesn’t happen unless I carve out time on my calendar (and turn off my e-mail!!).  So, tomorrow I’m blocking out noon to 4:00pm to spend on writing and book-related work in preparation for my weekly 9:00am Thursday check-in with my ever-so-patient book coach.

P.S. – The Tuesday Kiss the Paper posts are up.  My question to the sisters this week was, “What do you wish for your sister?”

AEDM Day 6: Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper

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I never write in my books.  I love pristine pages, tight spines and the smell of a new book.  The thought of dog-earring a page or making notes in the margin makes me shudder.

That being said, SARK’s book “Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper” just beckoned for bright markers to dance all over it.  So, I got some juicy pens and filled out page 80 – the list of reasons why I don’t feel like writing.  There are so many things that I let get in the way of working on my book.  This was a great exercise in putting it all down.  I’m sure there are plenty more distractions and excuses (in fact I just thought of another one – I need to go exercise!).

I think these same reasons also stop me from doing art more often.  So, I’m loving being part of the Art Every Day Month Challenge as it’s helping me to just do it anyway!

The Vision Board Book Launches

The inspiring book “The Vision Board: The Secret to an Extraordinary Life” by Joyce Schwarz launched today.  The book features nearly 100 artists’ vision boards from around the world and outlines a process for envisioning and living the life you truly want.  I’m one of the featured artists with full color images of my wo-manifesto, Right-Brain Business Plan and a workshop participant’s Unfolding Your Life Vision collage book gracing the pages.

Joyce somehow found me online earlier this year and asked me if I wanted to be featured in the book. Of course I said, “YES!” In fact, about two years ago I wrote in my Ladies Who Launch expanded vision that I created my own book on visioning that included images, collages and paintings made by me and my clients.  I’m currently plugging away at my book so it’s super cool to have the opportunity to be part of this project along side some of the teachers from “The Secret!”

I hope you check it out!!!