Category: Blogging

Secret #8: Empowering Partnerships and Alliances

cdb-2007-r2-017

This week’s chapter of The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is definitely my growing edge. Secret #8 is about selecting empowering partnerships and alliances.  This, to me, is quite different from tapping into the support and wisdom of my guides.  I love connecting and collaborating with others.  That inspires me and feeds my soul.  What I find scary is diving into an actual business partnership where we are truly co-creating something together, sharing profits, etc. Even if it’s with someone I align with, lots of stuff gets triggered in me like the need to “protect” myself and my “intellectual property.” Feelings of scarcity and comparison can start to surface.  I get that it’s all fear-based because it’s outside of my comfort zone and when there’s money involved that probably just eggs on my saboteurs even more!

I’m also independent, individualistic, introverted and, given that I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, I have a strong need to be unique and different and often feel like no one else understands me.  All of which can be challenges in a partnership!

One of the most empowering partnerships I’ve experienced, though, was with my friend Brighid during the two years that we co-led a leadership retreat together.  That’s us in the photo above on a high-ropes course.  This particular physical activity tends to reveal dynamics at play in a partnership.  The key to getting all the way to the other side is for each partner to lean in 100%.   I’m in the black and white and you might be able to tell that I’m witholding just a bit, which is a typical pattern for me.  What really helped us enrich our partnership overall was lots of open communication, checking out our assumptions early on before they snowballed into drama and knowing we could trust each other to each bring our natural gifts.  The other key was having a shared passion and focus for what we were creating.

While partnerships can take a lot of work, I also know that there is tremendous learning and growth for me and my business when I stretch outside my comfort zone and partner with the right people. And while it can be more vulnerable, it can also be quite fun and fulfilling!

If you’re considering entering into a partnership or alliance with others, it’s really helpful to have a good sense of who you are – your strengths, your idiosyncrasies, your expectations and what you bring to the table.  Gail McMeekin has a pretty in-depth self-assessment in this chapter to help you define your collaboration profile.

Also, here are some resources that I’ve found useful in creating more effective partnerships:

Secret #7: Consulting With Guides

creativeplaygroundvizmap0202-copy

Week 7’s Secret from the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin is consulting with guides.  In our creative process, we are not alone.  We have creative cohorts who inspire and support us.  These may be people that influenced us when we were younger, like family members or teachers.  They could be current people in your life, like friends, partners, coaches and mentors.  Or they could be people you don’t even know but admire from afar.

I’ve been fortunate to have so many supportive people in my life.  From my high school speech coach who encouraged me to “be big,” to my creative blogging circle of friends who I’ve been connecting with every other week.

I created a visual map to pay homage to my guides – past, present and future.  There are so many people who inspire me that I didn’t finish including all the names, groups, books and experiences that have been important in my life to date.  I look forward to continuing to add on to this piece and summoning the wisdom of this circle of support.

How do you acknowledge and tap into the insights and inspiration of your guides?

Secret #6: Conquering Saboteurs

uylv-insideteam-0197

We’re half-way through the Next Chapter book club! Secret #6 from Gail McMeekin’s “The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women” is all about our saboteurs, a.k.a. our inner critic, gremlins, and one of my favorites… the itty-bitty shitty committee (Pardon my French! Oh, yeah and sometimes that committee is not so itty-bitty!).

Gremlins are those voices in our head (or sometimes in real life!) that tell us “You can’t,” “You’re not good enough,” and all those other messages that hold us back. Gremlins like to keep things status quo, so it’s no wonder that they get louder when we’re going after our big dreams!

One of the ways that I find myself getting stuck is actually even more complex than just a singular gremlin. Many times it’s a whole cast of characters creating a cacophony of chaos in my head. These characters are neither good nor bad. They just each have their own particular agenda. Last year, I took a course called the Inside Team from one of my coaching mentors. This model opened up a whole new way of looking at what gets in my way. Most importantly, it gave me tools for helping myself and my clients tease apart the sometimes very subtle internal dynamics of the various voices or inside teamplayers.

For my specific situation, I wrote out all the different things I was hearing in my head. This is best to do when you catch yourself saying, “A part of me wants this but another part of me wants that.” For example, I had a player who was very impatient. When I gave him voice, he would pound his fist and say, “Why aren’t your projects done yet?” But another, more playful part of me just wanted to do work when she was inspired. There was also another part that really got on my case about doing my homework, getting the right research done and figuring out the numbers. Needless to say, none of them were getting along!

Before I got it all down on paper, I just replayed this dialogue in my head over and over again (without even realizing it). And I was left feeling pretty stuck and frustrated. However, once I became aware of how these different players were at odds with each other, I was able to redesign how they interacted with each other in a way that supported me and my goals. I tapped into the wiser part of me to lead my team and to call upon the skills and strengths of each member. For example, even though the impatient player was very loud, he had a talent for keeping this moving things forward, especially if he teamed up with my “project manager” who created more manageable milestones that the more playful part of me could get excited by.

What different voices (gremlin-like, allies or other) do you hear? Which ones are louder and which ones haven’t had much air-time? When you map out the dynamics of your inside team, what becomes clearer? And how can you have your team players work in better partnership with each other toward your goals?

P.S. – Make sure to listen to Andrea Scher’s interview with Jamie. She’s got some great tips on getting past gremlins.

Secret #5: Committing to Self-Focus

We’re on week 5 of the Next Chapter book club and Gail McMeekin’s fifth secret in The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is committing to self-focus.

Fridays are my self-care days.  I don’t have any meetings.  I don’t do any phone calls.  I have time just for me.

There was a Friday a few weeks ago, when I broke my promise to myself – big time!  My calendar kept getting shuffled around, the rest of the week was pretty packed, so I ended up scheduling back-to-back meetings from 9:30am-5pm.  I rationalized to myself that this was okay.  In fact, the first thing I had put on my calendar a couple months before was a meeting with a professional organizer, Claire Tompkins.  Having focused time to clear the clutter in my office was definitely my idea of a self-care act.

What didn’t help was that I started to fill in every nook and cranny before and after that meeting.  A call to plan an event for a community that I really love.  A visit from a dear friend.  And then a marathon trip to the bookkeeper.  Granted, all the things (besides the bookkeeper, of course), were things that I enjoy and are important to me.  However, I became so oblivious to my self-care day that I even neglected to build in time for me to eat!  Oops.

Later on when Claire checked-in with me for feedback on the organizing session, she also mentioned that I didn’t seem like my normal, positive self.  What she was picking up on, but I didn’t acknowledge until later was that part of me was resentful that I didn’t protect my self-care day. Instead of basking in the rested, inspired and spacious feeling of a normal Friday, I was overwhelmed, rushed and stressed (oh yeah, and very hungry!).

Having time alone is crucial for my mental health and my creative process. I’m usually pretty good about carving out those boundaries.  When I was younger, I remember my mom telling me it was okay to say no to things if I needed to take care of me or something that was important to me.  I appreciate that she did that.

Today on my self-care day I slept in, I’m going to the bookstore later on and I might even allow myself to read some fiction ;)!

How do you commit to self-focus?  What things do you do to practice self-care?

Secret #4: Surrendering to Creative Cycles

I’m writing this post in my PJs from bed while the afternoon sun is shining outside. I guess I could call this a mini-down cycle!  Gail McMeekin’s fourth secret of Highly Creative Women is about surrendering to creative cycles and dealing with the void.  In coaching we call this the dip.  It’s that time when you may be feeling stuck, slowed down, discouraged, vulnerable, sensitive, or perhaps not feeling anything at all because you’ve numbed out.  It’s the low point, the darkness, the spaces in-between, the pause, the quiet.

For me, sometimes these dips can be really bleak and blue, especially when I let the inner critic run the show.  “Um, hello, get off you’re butt, you should be doing more!!!”  “Look at what everybody else is creating, you’re getting behind!”  “You’ll never be that creative or successful again.”

Other times, these dips are much needed respites after intensely creative and hectic periods.  That’s when I just allow myself to rest.  To spend a week not doing much of anything except reading, vegging out and indulging in self-care.  Typically, I’ll be very busy and productive for a month or two straight (with travel, lots of events and projects, etc.) and then the following month will be much more spacious and mellow.  In fact, I’m heading into a more calm month now after a whirlwind past two weeks.  Many times, my body will just tell me to stop and take a break (in fact, I hurt my back in yoga yesterday, so it’s another reason why I’m telling myself to just take it easy).

So, I am enjoying my quiet time this afternoon.  I treated myself to a massage this past Friday and I am looking forward to white space on my calendar.  I know that this break will give me the renewed energy and spark to continue on my creative path.

Secret #3: Following Your Fascinations

I’ve been so busy following my fascinations, that I’m now very behind on my Next Chapter book club and Goddess Circle posts ;)!  Some of the fun fascinations I’ve followed during the past couple of weeks include:

  • A circus yoga class (even though I’m afraid of heights I think it would be so cool to do some aerial acrobatics someday)
  • An intuitive painting class (I met Chris Zydel through twitter and was so excited to discover that she offers workshops right near my house!)
  • a 3-day writer’s retreat in Lake Tahoe
  • Had the first session with the new group that formed for my Inner Muse Group Coaching Playground.  It’s been so inspiring to see what these women are wanting to create in their lives.
  • Leading a book club discussion about vision boards.  We had a great group of women gather together to share ideas and provide support.
  • Giving a talk about goal setting with a creative twist at a Sacramento Ladies Who Launch meeting

One of the things that Gail McMeekin talks about in this chapter is how taking courageous risks helps propel us forward on our creative path.  I didn’t use to think of myself as a risk-taker.  In fact, I’m a pretty cautious person in general.  However, in working with one of my coaches several years ago, she pointed out that yes, indeed I was taking risks and putting myself out there.  And she was right!  My risks range from big things like quitting my corporate job or going on TV (my first time was with less than 24 hours prep-time!) to more day-to-day things like trying a new class by myself or following a creative impulse.  I love how much I learn and grow by taking risks and Risk Taking / Stretching / Putting myself out there / Accomplishment / Excellence is now honored on my list of values.

Gail also talks about how bolstering your staying power can give you the stamina and strength needed to get you through the trials of risk taking.  Here are a few of the things that I do to bolster my staying power:

  • Reminding myself of past accomplishments or how I’ve benefitted from taking risks before
  • Having people in my life who support and encourage me
  • Asking for help
  • Reflecting on positive notes and messages from friends, family and colleagues
  • Taking care of myself
  • Staying connected with my vision, values and intentions

Secret #2: Honoring Your Inspirations

This week in the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women Next Chapter book club, we’re exploring how to honor your creative inspirations.   At the end of this section the author provides some questions to reflect on:

When did your creative awakening or reawakening occur?

I’ve always been creative. However, during high school in my advanced art class, I shut down because I was constantly comparing myself to my classmates.  They seemed to create amazing, imaginative pieces and I was only good at “copying” things.  I hadn’t yet found my voice.

I hadn’t painted in many years and I decided to create something just from an image in my head.  I used to draw everything precisely in pencil before painting.  This time, I did a rough sketch, but really let the brushstrokes just go wherever they were compelled to go.  It felt good to just freely create.  That painting still hangs in my bedroom.  I eventually started to do more expressive art just for the process not the end result.  I finally stepped into calling myself an artist and an entrepreneur.  My next creative edge is stepping into being an author!

What talents do you have, naturally?

I’m intuitive. I am a deep listener.  I’m sensitive. I bring quiet, stillness and reflection.  I create beauty.  I’m playful.

Which elements (fire, water, wood, air) draw you toward them?

Water for its flowing gracefulness and association with emotion.  Air for breath and also because it’s light and intangible.  Fire scares me (I have to use one of those kitchen lighter gadgets because I’m afraid I’m going to burn myself striking a match!).  I know that I could use more fire in my life.

Where and when do you create?  Where and when do you wish to create?

My kitchen table is my “craft room/studio” at the moment and I do lots of creative work at my computer.  I would love to have a studio in my backyard one of these days.   I would also love to participate in more and lead creative retreats in nature – like in the woods or in Hawaii!

What activates your creative energy?

Beauty, spaciousness, color, nature, nourishing my Inner Muse, finding ways to integrate different ideas, connecting with other creative people, yoga, mediation, reading, seeing and experiencing art, picking up supplies and just doing something!  Seeing people going after their dreams (BTW, a guilty pleasure – I just watched the Beat Freaks on America’s Best Dance Crew and these talented ladies kicked butt and definitely inspired me!).

What drains it?

Being overwhelmed, not taking care of myself, being distracted by clutter, comparing myself to others, not allowing myself to fully shine because I’m worried about what others will think, making things too complicated or trying to make things perfect, doing too many things for other people.

Do you use creative rituals?  Which ones?

As the book suggested, I have altars throughout my house.  The photo above is a detail from the one in my guest room/meditation/yoga room.  I also journal pretty regularly in the morning.

Does nature influence your creativity?  How?

Definitely!  The beauty of nature connects me to something bigger than myself.

What has been your greatest creative hurdle so far?

So far, I’d say developing my coaching brand.  I tortured myself for more than a year trying to articulate what I stood for.  So much questioning if I was going to get it right.  So many times I was ready to just give up and stick with my old, safe and generic brand with just a face lift.  It felt vulnerable to bring a more personal and authentic expression into my work.

What time of day are you most receptive to inspiration?

My creative sparks come at any time of the day (or night!).  Random inspiration hits me while walking my dog.  The key for me is writing it down or acting on it right away while I’m inspired, otherwise the idea looses steam and gets lost amongst my day-to-day activity.   I love having those light bulb moments!

Be sure to listen to this week’s interview with domestic diva Suzie Ridler.  I loved what she had to say about honoring her inspirations and giving herself permission to have her creativity show up in unexpected ways.

Secret #1: Acknowledging Your Creative Self

This week we’re exploring Secret #1: Acknowledging Your Creative Self from the Next Chapter book selection “The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women.”

I’ve always known that I am creative.  I loved to paint and draw as a kid. I love doing creative projects and artsy craftsy stuff.  I take in the world with grace and sensitivity.  And yet, it was not until a few years ago that I really, truly acknowledged and gave voice to my authentic creative self.  That wise, intuitive part of me that feels compelled to express herself, to make beauty in the world and to live a life in full color.  I refer to my creative self as my Inner Muse.  And her name is Sparkling Sage.

When author Gail McMeekin shared, “I needed to stop competing in the corporate world and reconnect with my artistic, intuitive feminine self,” I recalled those first inklings.  In my pre-work-for-myself-life, I didn’t fully trust my Inner Muse.  In fact, I don’t even know if I knew she was there!  I ignored her whispers in my ear and instead worked more hours so I could get that next promotion.  I placated myself by reasoning that I did creative things on the side.  But through all those years, my full creative self was stifled.  I always felt like something was missing or that I didn’t quite belong.  My Inner Muse was giving me hints that there was a much more fulfilling, authentic and creative path to walk.

It wasn’t until participating in a Leadership program about five years ago, that I fully tapped into the power of my creative self and gave myself permission to lead my life from my soft, feminine Inner Muse.  Even though it feels much more vulnerable to come from that place, I know it’s what gives me the most strength.  Now she guides me in my work and in how I show up in the world.  She’s thriving because I have acknowledged her wisdom.  Sure, there are still times when those nasty gremlins come in with their doubts and worries. And because my creative self is being nourished and supported, Sparkling Sage is able to ground me back in what matters most.

I acknowledge my creative self by:

  • Connecting with my Sparkling Sage wo-manifesto.
  • Giving her a voice through my work, blogging, writing and other creative acts.
  • Letting her play with and be inspired by other creative cohorts.  I’m soooo relishing in a creative women’s circle that formed this week with some fellow bloggers.  My Inner Muse is thrilled to have other creative souls supporting and encouraging her.
  • Creating space for her to breathe.  Having white space on my calendar to nourish myself, take a break, or to follow a creative spark.
  • Making an Inner Muse portrait (pictured above) to represent the essence of my creative self – spacious, graceful, feminine, flowing, playful, elegant and wise.

How do you acknowledge your creative self?  What name will you give your Inner Muse?

P.S. – Take a listen to my chat with Jamie about creativity and acknowledging your creative self.  It’s the first interview in a series of discussions with creative bloggers to accompany the Next Chapter book club.

12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women

This week kicks off the Next Chapter blogging book group started by the amazing and highly creative, Jamie Ridler.  More than 100 participants will be blogging weekly about their insights as we read, “The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women.”  This was one of the first books I picked up when I was making my transition out of the corporate world and into living a more creative life and I appreciate the opportunity to explore it again in a community.

I’m also honored to be part of the inspiring group of women that Jamie will talk with each week in her accompanying Highly Creative Blogger interview series.  I had a blast chatting with Jamie about the creativity journey and I hope you’ll enjoy listening to our recording tomorrow.

One of the themes in this book is support, whether in the form of guides, partners or alliances.  Our creative selves need other creative souls to play with and keep us moving forward.  That’s why I’m so incredibly thankful to have joined two new groups – one locally and one virtually – that both kicked-off yesterday.  I’ve met some really cool women who are up to amazing things and I’m looking forward to watching our goals and dreams bloom in the months to come.

And I’m looking forward to getting to know the other bloggers in the book group. If you haven’t signed-up for the Next Chapter yet, come play with us!!

Creative Every Day 2009

Happy New Year! Today rings in the first day of Creative Every Day 2009, a challenge started by the wonderful artist and creative blogger Leah Piken Kolidas.  This year Leah will be providing a theme for each month to help spark our creativity.  January’s theme is play – one of my core values!

I’ve already had a creative start to 2009.  This afternoon I took a yoga class at Monkey Yoga where the teachers infuse their practice with play and fun.  Tim had us doing his “chimpasana” and “gorillasana” (both pretty hard, but hilarious made-up poses) and Laura always makes me laugh.  I doodled a bit tonight, too.  And I spent time planning for several creative projects that I’m excited to share soon.