Today was the first full day of the Wild Heart Expressive Arts Teacher Training Program with Chris Zydel and seven other wonderful women. There’s so much to share and process (just on Day 1). More to come on that later. For now I’ll just include a few pictures to set the scene.
Here’s a peek into part of the portable studio that another student and I helped Chris set up yesterday afternoon. There are large cardboard easels throughout the entire room.
Plenty of colorful paint to choose from. I loved opening up several brand new bottles – so satisfying!
We’re staying at the Mountain Home Ranch in Calistoga. I was actually here before about 4 years ago for another retreat which was quite challenging for me, so it’s been interesting to be back here with a new perspective. I know there’s lots of learning in looking at how far I’ve come since then and how differently I’m showing up now. There’s definitely more to write on that later!
It’s funny to hear the cows mooing while we’re in the painting studio. A great reminder about how expressive sound can be!
And I just love this huge dog. I can’t believe her name is Jessica.
Gotta get ready for another intense day tomorrow and I’m hoping that I can finally get a good night’s sleep!
Last night I read this quote from Joel Barker to my Incubator group, “Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference.” We talked about how important it is to have a clear vision of where you’re headed and how that vision makes it easier to continue moving forward with focused action even when times are challenging.
One of my dearest friends, Brighid, exemplifies how action with vision makes a positive difference. As an avid advocate for mental health, she founded the non-profit Cheryl’s Dreaming Big to shed light on mental illness. Through theatre performances, sharing personal stories and facilitating dialogue, CDB is breaking the stigma of mental illness, generating awareness and having a positive impact in schools and communities in the Chicago area.
The other day, I watched the Cheryl’s Dreaming Big video above. I was so inspired to see Brighid’s vision come to life in such a profound way. A couple of years ago, I co-designed and co-led a CDB leadership program with Brighid. I learned so much through partnering with her and being a part of CDB. I learned how mental illness can impact people when it’s not addressed openly. I learned that there’s such a spectrum of mental illness and that there are probably times when many of us, myself included, have danced at the edge. I learned to have deeper compassion for those who struggle with mental health challenges. I also learned the power of having a big dream and mobilizing people to take action and create positive change.
I can’t wait to see Brighid’s vision for mental health awareness and education spread across the country and the world. She is truly an amazing person up to amazing things!
A few months ago, I was working with a client using some of the concepts from the powerful parable Leadership and Self-Deception. He valued the learnings so much that he looked into Arbinger’s second and equally-profound book, The Anatomy of Peace, which I recently checked out.
The Anatomy of Peace paints a poignant and engaging picture of how we unwittingly create conflict. And how we can resolve that conflict on an individual and even global level, which is very timely given the challenges our society currently faces. The key lies in how we “be” more so than what we “do.” You can read an excerpt from the book on the Arbinger Institute site.
When our heart is a peace we see others as people who have hopes and fears just like we do. From this place of being, we naturally have a sense/desire to help or extend ourselves to others. When we betray that sense, we then see the other person as an object as we find ways to justify the fact that we went against our urge to help. We put ourselves in the box and our heart goes to war, creating a vicious cycle of blaming and self-justification.
I realized that recently my heart was at war with my husband, Brian – poor guy! He took last week off for a “staycation” (a.k.a. – a vacation at home). I had all these thoughts about spending time with him, but I ended up choosing to work a lot instead. I spun into a “better-than-box” of “I am just sooooo busy” and an “I-deserve-box” of “Gee, don’t I get a break, too?!!!” I thought, how could he be laying on the couch reading when there was so much stuff to do? It was not pretty and made it difficult to enjoy our time together for part of the week. It’s a rather mundane example, yet it can be those day-to-day triggers that build up and lead to more significant discord.
The Peacemaking Pyramid depicted in the book shows that we must spend more time helping things go right (starting with a heart at peace) rather than dealing with things that are going wrong (i.e., correcting the other person). I mean really, how can I “correct” something that probably isn’t “wrong” in the first place. Of course it’s just “wrong” in my mind because then that makes me “right.” So, just by noticing I was “in the box” toward him, I was able to be in relationship with him as a person again. Get out of the box and come from a place of peace. It sounds simple, and it is. AND the challenge is continuing to choose to stay out of the box. Awareness obviously helps, as does practice.
I highly recommend both books to help with individual relationships as well as group dynamics. And I also highly recommend The Coaches Training Institute’s Leadership Program (where I first came across Leadership and Self-Deception). Check out their new video. You’ll see that much of the program is about the “being” of a leader and coming from a heart of love and peace.
What do you notice about being in the box versus out of the box toward other people? What happens when you come from a heart at peace rather than a heart at war?
This week is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. I, like many others who watched Jaws at a tender age, am scared to death of sharks. In honor of Shark Week, Larry Olson of the J.O.B. radio dedicated a whole show to this theme. So, I dove into the waters of radio once again, this time being interviewed by Larry on leadership and how to swim with sharks in the office space.
For some reason, Plaxo thought today was my birthday. Colleagues sent me birthday wishes and e-cards. It was pretty cool to have an extended celebration! My actual birthday was on Tuesday. I enjoyed my day by taking the afternoon off, hanging out with my friend Kate (who gave me the lovely orchid pictured above), going to yoga, having a white chocolate dream at Bittersweet and then Brian took me out for a nice dinner in Berkeley. I also started off my b-day by writing what I’m grateful for on a card for my blessings box and what I hope for the coming year on another card for my wish box.
What I loved about getting the second round of birthday wishes on my unbirthday is that it reminded me of something one of the leaders in my leadership program talked about. He mentioned that growth is the process of constantly being shattered and reborn. So in effect, everyday and every moment is our birthday. At any given instant, we have the opportunity to shed the old and embrace the new. So, Happy Birthday to you, too!
Last weekend I was in Toronto as a Circle Coach for Quest, The Coaches Training Institute’s latest leadership program. In three days, it’s amazing to see the transformations that occur and the quests that participants have embarked on!
The concept of a quest is rooted in Joseph Campbell’s model The Hero’s Journey. In [...]
At the end of April I took a short trip to London to visit with four of my dear friends from my leadership tribe. It had been about three and a half years since we were all together, so we were thrilled to have a mini-reunion.
The four bellas – a radiantly pregnant Tina, [...]
The past 10 days have been a whirlwind of excitement, connection, fulfillment and fun! I visited Washington DC to be a Circle Coach for Quest, returned home to lead a dream box workshop at It’s Yoga and then flew out to Cleveland for our Ladies Who Launch leader training. I had a great time [...]
In the half hour before leading a call today about Expressive Arts Coaching, a wave of anxiety came over me. Gremlins were hard at work grilling me… “What makes you think you can talk about this or that anyone would be interested in what you have to say? Do you even know what [...]
I’ve had a magical past 24 hours. Last night I led my first Ladies Who Launch Incubator here in Oakland and it was such fun! I love this work and am so inspired by all the amazing, creative projects that each woman is launching.
I felt like I did when I was a kid [...]
More right-brain resource goodness: Some silly fun from the Right-Brain Business Plan e-Course: “The Left-Brain Chill Pill” (see photo above) for calming the judging mind and enhancing right-brain creative intuition. Take with two deep breaths. An interesting post that asks is the traditional business world at war with creativity? A graphical look at the val […]
