Week 7’s Secret from the 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin is consulting with guides. In our creative process, we are not alone. We have creative cohorts who inspire and support us. These may be people that influenced us when we were younger, like family members or teachers. They could be current people in your life, like friends, partners, coaches and mentors. Or they could be people you don’t even know but admire from afar.
I’ve been fortunate to have so many supportive people in my life. From my high school speech coach who encouraged me to “be big,” to my creative blogging circle of friends who I’ve been connecting with every other week.
I created a visual map to pay homage to my guides – past, present and future. There are so many people who inspire me that I didn’t finish including all the names, groups, books and experiences that have been important in my life to date. I look forward to continuing to add on to this piece and summoning the wisdom of this circle of support.
How do you acknowledge and tap into the insights and inspiration of your guides?
We’re half-way through the Next Chapter book club! Secret #6 from Gail McMeekin’s “The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women” is all about our saboteurs, a.k.a. our inner critic, gremlins, and one of my favorites… the itty-bitty shitty committee (Pardon my French! Oh, yeah and sometimes that committee is not so itty-bitty!).
Gremlins are those voices in our head (or sometimes in real life!) that tell us “You can’t,” “You’re not good enough,” and all those other messages that hold us back. Gremlins like to keep things status quo, so it’s no wonder that they get louder when we’re going after our big dreams!
One of the ways that I find myself getting stuck is actually even more complex than just a singular gremlin. Many times it’s a whole cast of characters creating a cacophony of chaos in my head. These characters are neither good nor bad. They just each have their own particular agenda. Last year, I took a course called the Inside Team from one of my coaching mentors. This model opened up a whole new way of looking at what gets in my way. Most importantly, it gave me tools for helping myself and my clients tease apart the sometimes very subtle internal dynamics of the various voices or inside teamplayers.
For my specific situation, I wrote out all the different things I was hearing in my head. This is best to do when you catch yourself saying, “A part of me wants this but another part of me wants that.” For example, I had a player who was very impatient. When I gave him voice, he would pound his fist and say, “Why aren’t your projects done yet?” But another, more playful part of me just wanted to do work when she was inspired. There was also another part that really got on my case about doing my homework, getting the right research done and figuring out the numbers. Needless to say, none of them were getting along!
Before I got it all down on paper, I just replayed this dialogue in my head over and over again (without even realizing it). And I was left feeling pretty stuck and frustrated. However, once I became aware of how these different players were at odds with each other, I was able to redesign how they interacted with each other in a way that supported me and my goals. I tapped into the wiser part of me to lead my team and to call upon the skills and strengths of each member. For example, even though the impatient player was very loud, he had a talent for keeping this moving things forward, especially if he teamed up with my “project manager” who created more manageable milestones that the more playful part of me could get excited by.
What different voices (gremlin-like, allies or other) do you hear? Which ones are louder and which ones haven’t had much air-time? When you map out the dynamics of your inside team, what becomes clearer? And how can you have your team players work in better partnership with each other toward your goals?
P.S. – Make sure to listen to Andrea Scher’s interview with Jamie. She’s got some great tips on getting past gremlins.
by jenn on February 15, 2009
in Books
Congratulations to the delightful Erica Cooper of the Celebrate Home Everyday blog. Erica is the winner of the book “The Vision Board: The Secret to an Extraordinary Life” by Joyce Schwarz. Yay! Erica, I wish all the best for you as you vision big!
Thanks to everyone who participated in the giveaway. I was absolutely blown away by all of your incredibly inspiring responses to the question, “What do you love about you?” Your vulnerability, humor and authenticity warmed my heart and I hope inspired others to love more of themselves, too. If you didn’t save or print out your comment yet, I invite you to do so. And add on to it every now and then. That way you can continue with your fabulous self-love fest throughout the year!
Photo by Kate Prentiss, kissthepaper.com
On Tuesday, my friend Kate “love bombed” me. She left a bundle of cheerful cherry blossom branches and a handmade Valentine’s card on my front porch. You can see more of her “love bombs” like the one above on her Kiss the Paper post this week. I love getting surprise handmade gifts like that (see #46 below)!
In my newsletter this month, I shared a story about creating a list of 100 things that you love. This is a great way to look for the good in your life, to indulge in what brings you joy and to create positive change. Your list can include what you love about you, the people and world around you, your favorite things to do or just simple pleasures that bring a smile to your face.
Here’s my list of what I love:
- My husband, Brian
- Snuggling with our dog Emmett
- Being creative
- My work – I am doing what I love
- My lifestyle – I get to do what I love in a way that I love!
- Ice cream
- Reading in my hammock in my backyard
- The homey feeling of my house
- My family
- My heritage
- Walks in nature
- My iPhone
- Getting awesome free apps for my iPhone
- Art and handmade things of beauty
- Getting lost in a good book
- The color green
- My dear friends
- Gelly roll pens (fine point)
- Martha Stewart
- That Obama is now our president
- Flipping through Anthropolgie catalogs
- Black boots
- Collaging
- Crafting
- Waking up without an alarm clock
- Vacationing in relaxing, tropical locations (I would love to go back to Tahiti where Brian and I honeymooned!)
- Visiting New York, Chicago and London
- Finding a great piece of clothing on sale!
- Inspirational stories
- My self-care day
- Learning, learning, learning
- Ashtanga Yoga
- Laughing so hard until I cry
- Connecting with my friends from Leadership
- When my house is clean (preferably cleaned by someone else!)
- Meaningful, deep conversations
- Going on dates with Brian
- The feeling of accomplishment when I finish a project
- Generosity
- Authenticity
- Expressive Arts
- Co-leading the Creative Artists Community with Kathy
- My blogging friends and the Nurture Huddle
- Hanging out with my mucha muchachas
- Sharing resources
- Giving and receiving handmade, thoughtful presents
- Beautiful views of the bay or the ocean
- Cala lilies, sunflowers, orchids and Gerbera daisies
- Taking naps
- Understanding myself better through different personality typing systems
- Books, bookstores, the smell of a new book
- Handwritten type
- Getting compliments
- Cute aprons
- Japanese calligraphy
- Quiet time
- That I trust my hairstylist enough to let her do whatever she wants with my hair
- Going to museums
- Taking workshops and classes (art, personal development, etc.)
- Tempura udon
- Feeling productive and checking things off my to-do list
- Visioning
- When things just flow
- Massages – hot stone and Thai, especially
- Having good laughs and good food with my good friends from book club
- Really flavorful and/or spicy food
- Discovering new, innovative ways to do something
- Feeling in shape and healthy
- My Butler Bag
- Going for a swim on a hot, sunny day
- Random acts of kindness
- My fingernails
- Facilitating groups and leading workshops
- Seeing people living their dreams
- My wedding and engagement rings (coming from someone who for many years didn’t believe in getting married!)
- Eating really delicious food made by someone else
- Herbal tea
- Hot cocoa – Spicy from Bittersweet
- Slumber parties
- Winning fast-paced board or card games
- Japanese paper
- Meeting friends for lunch in the middle of a weekday
- My determination
- Laughing at funny childhood stories with my cousins
- Smoothies
- Finding just the right dress to wear for a special occasion
- The smell of Hawaii
- Ethnic candy of all kinds
- Feeling organized
- Blue skies, white clouds and green grass
- Having freedom and flexibility
- My Inner Muse
- Being part of Kiss the Paper
- My patio furniture
- My Jade yoga mat
- Painting
- Eating a delicious raw food meal at Café Gratitude – complete with the I am Elated Enchilada and the I am Devoted Coconut Crème Pie (I also love their forward-thinking business philosophy)
- Beautiful sunsets
- Watching aerial acrobatics
- Wearing inspirational jewelry
- Knitting
- Anything sweet
What are the 100 things you love right now? What themes do you notice? And how can these be clues to what you’re wanting to create more of in your life?
We’re on week 5 of the Next Chapter book club and Gail McMeekin’s fifth secret in The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women is committing to self-focus.
Fridays are my self-care days. I don’t have any meetings. I don’t do any phone calls. I have time just for me.
There was a Friday a few weeks ago, when I broke my promise to myself – big time! My calendar kept getting shuffled around, the rest of the week was pretty packed, so I ended up scheduling back-to-back meetings from 9:30am-5pm. I rationalized to myself that this was okay. In fact, the first thing I had put on my calendar a couple months before was a meeting with a professional organizer, Claire Tompkins. Having focused time to clear the clutter in my office was definitely my idea of a self-care act.
What didn’t help was that I started to fill in every nook and cranny before and after that meeting. A call to plan an event for a community that I really love. A visit from a dear friend. And then a marathon trip to the bookkeeper. Granted, all the things (besides the bookkeeper, of course), were things that I enjoy and are important to me. However, I became so oblivious to my self-care day that I even neglected to build in time for me to eat! Oops.
Later on when Claire checked-in with me for feedback on the organizing session, she also mentioned that I didn’t seem like my normal, positive self. What she was picking up on, but I didn’t acknowledge until later was that part of me was resentful that I didn’t protect my self-care day. Instead of basking in the rested, inspired and spacious feeling of a normal Friday, I was overwhelmed, rushed and stressed (oh yeah, and very hungry!).
Having time alone is crucial for my mental health and my creative process. I’m usually pretty good about carving out those boundaries. When I was younger, I remember my mom telling me it was okay to say no to things if I needed to take care of me or something that was important to me. I appreciate that she did that.
Today on my self-care day I slept in, I’m going to the bookstore later on and I might even allow myself to read some fiction 
!
How do you commit to self-focus? What things do you do to practice self-care?
